worn out

I am so sick of life today. I'm sure tomorrow I'll be friends with it again. Today... no. I've been working full time, with busy weekends. And this weekend is busy again. I hate busy weekends!

Though, last weekend was important and this weekend will be fun.

Last weekend we were in Victoria so Tim could do his PARE (the rcmp physical exam). He did great. 3:42! The cut-off time was over a minute more than that. I'm proud of him... but honestly... the closer his actually being a cop comes, the stranger I feel. *shrug*

Next weekend we're in Port Alberni for a cousin's wedding, and his Grandpa's 80th birthday. His family events make me feel uncomfortable. All I want to do is hide. But we'll have the wedding to talk about, I guess. Haha, except that we're not inviting everyone :s

Wedding news: I bought my veil... 130$ later and I won a gift certificate for the Bride's Closet. Nice. I also found out 2 other people are using my venue. But after me, so it's okay.

I miss Tim. He works late tonight and I need cuddles :(

sunday sunday sunday sunday

Tomorrow is yet another Sunday... I had a dream many weeks ago that involved the Church of LDS and ovens and jackets and graveyards and childcare... anyhow, when I looked it all up a stove, which was one of the main images in my dream "suggests a developing awareness"

Sunday. To go or not to go?

Alaska Bound

Yesterday Tim and I had a long desired morning off together. We both had Saturday off (an amazing and surprising first) but sadly I was updating my first aide... sort of important.

So. We had our day off and we made a special trip down to Coombs for fudge. Yes. We specifically drove to coombs and back only to buy two thick slives of maple and vanilla fudge. It made me think of you, Amay! The fudge was delicious. We have eaten more than a healthy amount already... plus way too many english mints. They are too much fun to crunch and enjoy.

Anywho, regarding alaska... after our fudge journey we wended our way to Sears Travel to talk with Megan, our travel agent (sounds so grown-upish) about our honeymoon. The finalized plans are as follows:

Saturday evening - Catch the ferry to Vancouver and stay in a classy hotel. No heart shaped beds :s
Sunday morning - drive down to Seattle in our car, and park it
Sunday Afternoon - Board the NCL ship to Alaska!

Don't worry. They'll ship us back to Seattle. At which point we'll drive back to Vancouver, stay in a classy hotel, and ferry boat it home.

In some ways I'm looking forward to this trip more than the wedding. Mostly I'm looking forward to when I'm "allowed" to have a baby. I found out today that yet another young, somewhat immature girl my age is pregnant. Not married. Not engaged. No house. No job.

I know there is a reason for everything... but what is the reason for this? Maybe there are some children at work that need my help right now. And if I had my own baby I couldn't be there for them. *sigh* I do love my daycare kids though... They've helped me realize that I'd love a boy just as much as a girl. (If I get to choose, though, Lucy Mae needs a body for her name.)

Now off to do laundry so the man of the house has clean work shirts for tomorrow.

Ah, to have wisdom

Wisdom. Overrated? In the case of teeth I'd have to say yes! On thursday I have to go and have one of my wisdom teeth removed. I am not thrilled. Especially since my boss has me working the day afterwards. I would prefer to have that day off :(

In other news... back in July, maybe, I "called" Thanksgiving. Which baisically meant that I wanted to have it at my house. I wanted to cook the turkey, be in charge and host the event. I called it so long ago because I missed out on Christmas at my house last year. And because thanksgiving last year sucked. The turkey was raw. Ew.

Last night at Tim's parents house we're visiting with them and his brother, sister in law and nephew and all of a sudden Tracy says, "Oh, we're having Thanksgiving at our house this year."

Great. So everyone forgot that I called it. And I can't do Christmas because the other stupid sister in law will have her stupid baby by then and want to have his first Christmas at home. Which I understand. I do.

But where does this leave me? Thanksgiving 2009 - Taken
Christmas 2009 - Taken
Easter 2010 - Busy with wedding stuff

and by the tim Thanksgiving and Christmas role around NEXT year, I'll be off my medications and probably unable to walk let alone prepare and host a large family dinner.

Most of the time I love (most) of my in-laws. At times like this I feel absolutely rejected and unimportant. I don't know how many times I have felt like just giving up on trying to be a part of it.

I feel like telling everyone to fuck off and going and having Thanksgiving anyways at my house for MY family. Except that would upset Tim... and I don't want him upset.

Fall is here

I was so excited when we started to have all our rain back. It honestly didn't feel like Nanaimo with all that sunshine!

The leaves are changing. I know this because at work last week one of my kids came up to me and said, "Teacher, look! The leaves are red!" In my teacherly manner I said, "Yes, and what does that mean?"

"That it's almost your wedding!!"

Ha! That one was my fault though... They asked me when the wedding was, so I told them first all the leaves had to change colour and fall off the trees, then Christmas, then all the leaves had to grow back. I love those kiddies.

I have had a random severe pain in my wisdom teeth area... I'm positive that means they'll have to come out. Which sucks... except it can't because then I'd get dry socket!

What else... we had Tim's parents over tonight for taco dinner. We hadn't invited them over since my birthday! I felt bad. Then I rambled on about how I don't wear pants at home. I am a character.