Time

It used to be that I would look forward to things. I'd be prepped for Halloween by August, for Christmas by November 12th (the first day I felt morally okay with celebrating!), and for my birthday/Tim's birthday/Anniversary by New Years.

But since having Evelyn time seems to have... stopped? I'm not sure what I mean exactly. It's not that I've stopped looking forward to things exactly, but whereas before it was all I focused on, so much to the point of often being disappointed in things once they finally happened, now I feel I am living in the moment better.

Is this what having kids does to you? Help you realize the value of *right now*?

It's also a tad scary how you start to realize that we, first as kids, and then as teens, and now as young adults, have No. Fricking. Clue. about what is going on.

And it saddens me that I know my daughter will not listen when I tell her, "Trust me, such and such is for the best, you'll look back and realize high school was lame, this won't matter in 5 years/6 months/tomorrow." I KNOW she won't listen. Because you don't think anyone gets it.

A very disjointed post. Written with a very snuggly baby against my chest.

Also, a doctors appointment in a few hours where we will find out how my arthritis is doing, and what the plan is for the next 6 months.