I had my latest check-up with the all knowing all important Dr.Sheriff. And that wasn't meant to be sarcastic. He really does know alot. I always feel reassured when i leave his office, even when my hopes for the future are dashed away. (Is that phrase right?)
Anyhow, I was determined to mention to him that since I've gotten engaged I've been thinking more and more of babies. Adorable squirmy squishy little versions of Tim and I. (And oh man, do I wish I still had that face-melding software Brianna and I used to see what those babies would look like!!)
Has anyone else noticed that Christmas is an especially baby-filled time of year? And I wasn't even in a weird place for this sort of cross-section of the general public. I was in the mall! Not the Gynecologists office. The mall! And there were so many babies.
Back on topic: I asked the good doctor what would be our options for me having kids down the road, say, by 2012 ish.
All joking aside here - he laughed. Not a big laugh. Not a mean laugh. But sort of a "you-have-to-be-joking-but-oh-wait-you're-not-you're-serious" kind of laugh.
He said it would be hard. Obviously I'd be off all my medications which could very well leave me worse off than pre-meds. I may not be able to walk. It would be the 9 month pregnancy PLUS a 6 month pre-trying period of cleansing my body of the meds.
70% of women with RA experience a sort of remission, where the arthritis gets better during pregnancy.
30% of women get worse. With my luck, this is me!
He said that I'd need lots of support. But it could be done.
I've been feeling sad and angry and just confused as to why things like this happen.
But it always could be worse. He could have said that my uterus was damaged and this would kill me, he could have been cruel about it, he could have refused to even discuss options.
So I'll be happy. I smile every time the light catches my ring (which is often) and for now that is enough.
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