Sunday, December 14, 2008

previous pessimissim

I was reading an old journal post from last year at this time, and I was shocked to see how depressed I sounded. I know that it was an awful event, and I had every right to be sad, but I couldn't believe some of the comments I had written.

I'm still sad about it. Tim always tells me that it wasn't my fault. But whose fault is it then? If it isn't mine?

I guess it's easier now that we're getting married. Because now I can plan when I am going to have my baby. And I will plan for it. And make sure it is healthy.

Sometimes I forget. And I almost mention it to Tim's parents. Sometimes I want to pretend I forget, and mention it to them on purpose.

I look around at all the women I know, and all the women I've only read about who are pregnant, and I get jealous. And sad.

Not sure where I'm going with this.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

you shouldn't be sad about the way you felt, it was natural for you to be expressing sadness and depression...it had it's place, it's phase, and then you moved on. we all have to feel sad sometimes. and people get depressed about much more trivial things..