Time

It used to be that I would look forward to things. I'd be prepped for Halloween by August, for Christmas by November 12th (the first day I felt morally okay with celebrating!), and for my birthday/Tim's birthday/Anniversary by New Years.

But since having Evelyn time seems to have... stopped? I'm not sure what I mean exactly. It's not that I've stopped looking forward to things exactly, but whereas before it was all I focused on, so much to the point of often being disappointed in things once they finally happened, now I feel I am living in the moment better.

Is this what having kids does to you? Help you realize the value of *right now*?

It's also a tad scary how you start to realize that we, first as kids, and then as teens, and now as young adults, have No. Fricking. Clue. about what is going on.

And it saddens me that I know my daughter will not listen when I tell her, "Trust me, such and such is for the best, you'll look back and realize high school was lame, this won't matter in 5 years/6 months/tomorrow." I KNOW she won't listen. Because you don't think anyone gets it.

A very disjointed post. Written with a very snuggly baby against my chest.

Also, a doctors appointment in a few hours where we will find out how my arthritis is doing, and what the plan is for the next 6 months.

Baby wearing

Before I had Buck I had several great ideals. For example: my arthritis would probably be SO bad after I gave birth that there was no way I could carry her around all the time, and it would be spoiling her to do so anyways.

As I write this, I'll share with you the fact that she is peacefully sleeping against my chest, snug and cozy in her Mei Tai. That ideal flew out the window when I saw my daughter and realized how happy she was when she was held and snuggled. And yeah, with my arthritis sometimes my hands get sore and tired. Hence the awesomeness that is the Mei Tai (pronounced "May tie"). It's a baby carrier that has a rectangular piece of material that is padded, which goes against baby's back, and four straps which tie around your waist, and over your shoulders/around your back. It puts baby at the perfect level... right by your heart, and close enough to kiss.

I get some flack from family about wearing her as constantly as I do. And I will admit that it would be nice if she was having this nap on the floor/in bed/on the couch so that I could lay down, or do jumping jacks or whatever. But then I look at how peacefully she is sleeping, and I can smell her, and smooch her, and I sigh and carefully squat down to get the load of diapers out of the top-loading washer.

Re start.. again...

I am trying to start this up. Again. I'm hoping since life has somewhat reached a calm state that I'll be able to do this on a regular basis.

Lots of things have changed since July. Namely, I had the baby :) We named her Evelyn (recently nicknamed "Buck"). And by "we" and I mean that I picked it. Because 12 hours of "labour" followed by a c-section entitles a woman to that right. (but more on the birth story later...)

Another change - I have embraced my inner hippie! We are now a baby-wearing, cloth diapering, family cloth using (only ask if you really want to know), room sharing family. And have lots of plans for Buck's future - baby led weaning, extended breast feeding, extended rear-facing, and much much more. Since having the baby, my inner activist has reared her ugly head, and I have started advocating for things such as keeping our baby boys intact.

One final change, I've gone back to church. The LDS church, if you were curious.

So there we go. You're all caught up.

So close!

I'm just as bad at updating this as I am at updating my written journal. Somehow, I figured I'd have more time to write once I was on maternity leave. But I've noticed a trend with me - when life is busy and crazy I don't journal. End of story.

35 weeks and 1 day along today. I feel big and ready. Ready me, ready house, ready room. But not a ready baby. Which is fine. I think one person in a family with medical concerns is enough. Especially if the next likely is an infant.

But anyways. Her pink room is ready. I have all her clothes washed and put away. All organized and sorted by age/size. And all her bedding is washed and either on the bed, or put away for later use. I did not buy bumpers. I don't think they're safe. But that is my opinion. We won't be using blankets either. Sleep sacks and bags all the way, yo!

I feel like there are still things that need to be done. I'm sitting here, staring around my living room and not seeing anything. Except the car seat. But I can't put that in until the car is here, and not at work with Tim.

35 weeks.... Crazy.

Walkin' in the rain!

I went out for a walk today with the Nanaimo Mom's walking group... and there were 3 of us! I, of course, do not have a baby outside of me yet. But it was nice to chat with other moms and get out of the house... I tend to stay inside and by myself a lot. So it was good.

Tim took my belly picture today - 27 weeks and 1 day - and I look so much bigger than I used to! I can't believe how big I've gotten. Although the scale does not lie in that area.

I have been have the most bizzare feelings lately. It felt like she was having a seizure inside of me! Turns out that those are hiccups! Thank goodness, because it was a bit freaky.

All that walking has tired me out. I am off to nap.

Happy Anniversary!

Today is my first anniversary! But, since Tim works 1-10 today, we decided to celebrate officially tomorrow. So today all we did was get some coffee/hot chocolate and walk down by the waterfront. Plus I also gave Tim his gift - a book about racing cars (as per the first anniversary traditional gift of paper!).

Tomorrow we're going to drive up island somewhere and have a nice dinner out, just the two and half of us! Hopefully Miss.Feets is well behaved, and I can enjoy it all.

Today, I have been cleaning! I got everything on my list finished by 4pm, so I've moved onto the things which were not on my list. I'm prepping the baby's room so that we can put up a first coat of primer tomorrow morning. I've been on Tim to get the room all painted so that I can start my setting up/decorating part of the job.

I am noticing that house cleaning is much more difficult when you are pregnant! I get a sore back quickly, and out of breath, not to mention HUNGRY!

I think that I might have hamburger helper for dinner tonight! And some veggies. And if I didn't have gestational diabetes, I would also make up the cupcakes and cream cheese icing that are sitting in my cupboard. But since I do, I won't. Otherwise I would be very tempted to eat one. Or seven.

5 months down, 4 to go!

Sometimes it's hard to believe that I am over halfway done being pregnant, and sometimes it's easy to remember (like when I look down at my tummy, or a calendar!). I think that I dislike being pregnant. Not the "I have a baby growing in me" part of it. I like that part of it! But the part where my body is the safe haven for this baby.

I realized again how much I dislike that part when I went into the hospital on Tuesday morning with what turned out to be kidney stones. Kidney stones! as if I didn't have enough to worry about? We spent a total of 8 hours in emergency split between two trips. But thankfully I am feeling just fine now.

Tim was worried that it was something wrong with the baby. So it was nice to find out that it was a relatively harmless thing (as painful as it happened to be).