So close!

I'm just as bad at updating this as I am at updating my written journal. Somehow, I figured I'd have more time to write once I was on maternity leave. But I've noticed a trend with me - when life is busy and crazy I don't journal. End of story.

35 weeks and 1 day along today. I feel big and ready. Ready me, ready house, ready room. But not a ready baby. Which is fine. I think one person in a family with medical concerns is enough. Especially if the next likely is an infant.

But anyways. Her pink room is ready. I have all her clothes washed and put away. All organized and sorted by age/size. And all her bedding is washed and either on the bed, or put away for later use. I did not buy bumpers. I don't think they're safe. But that is my opinion. We won't be using blankets either. Sleep sacks and bags all the way, yo!

I feel like there are still things that need to be done. I'm sitting here, staring around my living room and not seeing anything. Except the car seat. But I can't put that in until the car is here, and not at work with Tim.

35 weeks.... Crazy.

Walkin' in the rain!

I went out for a walk today with the Nanaimo Mom's walking group... and there were 3 of us! I, of course, do not have a baby outside of me yet. But it was nice to chat with other moms and get out of the house... I tend to stay inside and by myself a lot. So it was good.

Tim took my belly picture today - 27 weeks and 1 day - and I look so much bigger than I used to! I can't believe how big I've gotten. Although the scale does not lie in that area.

I have been have the most bizzare feelings lately. It felt like she was having a seizure inside of me! Turns out that those are hiccups! Thank goodness, because it was a bit freaky.

All that walking has tired me out. I am off to nap.

Happy Anniversary!

Today is my first anniversary! But, since Tim works 1-10 today, we decided to celebrate officially tomorrow. So today all we did was get some coffee/hot chocolate and walk down by the waterfront. Plus I also gave Tim his gift - a book about racing cars (as per the first anniversary traditional gift of paper!).

Tomorrow we're going to drive up island somewhere and have a nice dinner out, just the two and half of us! Hopefully Miss.Feets is well behaved, and I can enjoy it all.

Today, I have been cleaning! I got everything on my list finished by 4pm, so I've moved onto the things which were not on my list. I'm prepping the baby's room so that we can put up a first coat of primer tomorrow morning. I've been on Tim to get the room all painted so that I can start my setting up/decorating part of the job.

I am noticing that house cleaning is much more difficult when you are pregnant! I get a sore back quickly, and out of breath, not to mention HUNGRY!

I think that I might have hamburger helper for dinner tonight! And some veggies. And if I didn't have gestational diabetes, I would also make up the cupcakes and cream cheese icing that are sitting in my cupboard. But since I do, I won't. Otherwise I would be very tempted to eat one. Or seven.

worn out

I am so sick of life today. I'm sure tomorrow I'll be friends with it again. Today... no. I've been working full time, with busy weekends. And this weekend is busy again. I hate busy weekends!

Though, last weekend was important and this weekend will be fun.

Last weekend we were in Victoria so Tim could do his PARE (the rcmp physical exam). He did great. 3:42! The cut-off time was over a minute more than that. I'm proud of him... but honestly... the closer his actually being a cop comes, the stranger I feel. *shrug*

Next weekend we're in Port Alberni for a cousin's wedding, and his Grandpa's 80th birthday. His family events make me feel uncomfortable. All I want to do is hide. But we'll have the wedding to talk about, I guess. Haha, except that we're not inviting everyone :s

Wedding news: I bought my veil... 130$ later and I won a gift certificate for the Bride's Closet. Nice. I also found out 2 other people are using my venue. But after me, so it's okay.

I miss Tim. He works late tonight and I need cuddles :(

Alaska Bound

Yesterday Tim and I had a long desired morning off together. We both had Saturday off (an amazing and surprising first) but sadly I was updating my first aide... sort of important.

So. We had our day off and we made a special trip down to Coombs for fudge. Yes. We specifically drove to coombs and back only to buy two thick slives of maple and vanilla fudge. It made me think of you, Amay! The fudge was delicious. We have eaten more than a healthy amount already... plus way too many english mints. They are too much fun to crunch and enjoy.

Anywho, regarding alaska... after our fudge journey we wended our way to Sears Travel to talk with Megan, our travel agent (sounds so grown-upish) about our honeymoon. The finalized plans are as follows:

Saturday evening - Catch the ferry to Vancouver and stay in a classy hotel. No heart shaped beds :s
Sunday morning - drive down to Seattle in our car, and park it
Sunday Afternoon - Board the NCL ship to Alaska!

Don't worry. They'll ship us back to Seattle. At which point we'll drive back to Vancouver, stay in a classy hotel, and ferry boat it home.

In some ways I'm looking forward to this trip more than the wedding. Mostly I'm looking forward to when I'm "allowed" to have a baby. I found out today that yet another young, somewhat immature girl my age is pregnant. Not married. Not engaged. No house. No job.

I know there is a reason for everything... but what is the reason for this? Maybe there are some children at work that need my help right now. And if I had my own baby I couldn't be there for them. *sigh* I do love my daycare kids though... They've helped me realize that I'd love a boy just as much as a girl. (If I get to choose, though, Lucy Mae needs a body for her name.)

Now off to do laundry so the man of the house has clean work shirts for tomorrow.

Ah, to have wisdom

Wisdom. Overrated? In the case of teeth I'd have to say yes! On thursday I have to go and have one of my wisdom teeth removed. I am not thrilled. Especially since my boss has me working the day afterwards. I would prefer to have that day off :(

In other news... back in July, maybe, I "called" Thanksgiving. Which baisically meant that I wanted to have it at my house. I wanted to cook the turkey, be in charge and host the event. I called it so long ago because I missed out on Christmas at my house last year. And because thanksgiving last year sucked. The turkey was raw. Ew.

Last night at Tim's parents house we're visiting with them and his brother, sister in law and nephew and all of a sudden Tracy says, "Oh, we're having Thanksgiving at our house this year."

Great. So everyone forgot that I called it. And I can't do Christmas because the other stupid sister in law will have her stupid baby by then and want to have his first Christmas at home. Which I understand. I do.

But where does this leave me? Thanksgiving 2009 - Taken
Christmas 2009 - Taken
Easter 2010 - Busy with wedding stuff

and by the tim Thanksgiving and Christmas role around NEXT year, I'll be off my medications and probably unable to walk let alone prepare and host a large family dinner.

Most of the time I love (most) of my in-laws. At times like this I feel absolutely rejected and unimportant. I don't know how many times I have felt like just giving up on trying to be a part of it.

I feel like telling everyone to fuck off and going and having Thanksgiving anyways at my house for MY family. Except that would upset Tim... and I don't want him upset.

The Wedding Plans

The plans... the plans have evolved so much from my original wedding vision. While I know I had to start somewhere, it's odd to see what I thought I wanted vs. what I'm getting or what I want now.

In the beginning I wanted Green and Brown for colours. That has slowly and unintentionally evolved into Green and White with brown accents.

In the beginning I wanted roses, elaborate herb and wildflower bouquets. And now I'm so excited about handpicked lilacs from my mother's yard.

In the beginning I wanted tacos. And... well, actually I still want to have tacos. But now we're having soups and salads and sandwiches. Cheaper, more crowd pleasing, and deffinatley safer in a white dress! (Or, ivory, in my case.)

Most of all I'm excited to be married to Tim. Last night I half jokingly, half seriously asked him if we could sneak off to city hall and get married, and keep it a secret from everyone else for the next 9 months. He said no. But I always think that would be so romantic... getting married and having no one know.

I kind of understand why people feel the need to elope. Plus, weddings are expensive! We're doing ours for super cheap. But honestly, the only reason we can do it that way is we have so many friends and family members willing to help out. A friend is doing my hair, my sister in law is doing the cake, my mom is buying my dress, my dad is chipping in some cash, and so on and so on.

I love my wedding. And I feel like I'm organized enough now that by the time the wedding is a month away, I'll be able to sit back and enjoy the excitement.

R.C.M.P.

Lately Tim has been talking about becoming a police officer. And then he finally said to me that he wanted to do it. To start the appliation process.

"How do you feel about it?"

How do I feel about it? It's strange. I know that he would be a good police office. I know that he would be happier in this sort of career where he could do some good. I know he would like the fact that he could support us, so I could stay home with our children.

I don't have any real objections to it. I would worry about him, yes. It's hard to worry about him when he works at grocery store with 40 other people each day plus countless numbers of customers. He's doing shift work now, which is annoying but I deal with it just fine.

There's no real rush. He can't join for another 2.5 years due to some of the requirements they have. But he wants to do it. He's already started to get himself into better shape. So that he's ready.

I do not like the fact that he will have to go to Regina for 6 months of training. During which time he'll like in barrack-style accomidations. *sigh*

I suppose I just needed to vent about it. (ventventvent)

Optimism and Yoga (aaaahhh)

For the first time today, my doctor was positive about my arthritis! He looked at my inflammation levels over the last 2 years, and it has finally started to level out. He said that he's happy with how I'm doing!

Now, this might not seem like much, but for the entire two years I've seen this doctor, he is always hoping for better, always wishing things would improve. And it started getting a bit pessimistic. But it was a great change to see him be excited about my progress. That, combined with the beautiful day we had today made for a perfect first yoga day.

It wasn't really a "first" for the yoga. I took it back when Tim was in Belize to give me something to do while he was gone. And it helped with my flexibility and range of motion. So I figured, lets do it again!

The instructor was great. Really understanding and willing to modify poses for me so I could get the same benefit. And it was relaxing... so calming and grounding. I've felt great all day :)

Speaking of great days... Valentine's Day was pretty cool this year. We went out for breakfast together. Tim had to work 1-10, so I puttered around cleaning up and such, and he called me on his lunch break:

Tim: What are you up to?
Me: Oh, just cleaning up and stuff.
*DING DONG!!* (The doorbell rings!)
Me: Oh shit. The doorbell just rang.
Tim: Oh really?

I go to answer it, and it's Tim! Bearing tulips and some hagen-das caramel latte ice cream! Yum! I surprised him late on with candles and hot chocolate on our deck. In all, it was great.