worn out

I am so sick of life today. I'm sure tomorrow I'll be friends with it again. Today... no. I've been working full time, with busy weekends. And this weekend is busy again. I hate busy weekends!

Though, last weekend was important and this weekend will be fun.

Last weekend we were in Victoria so Tim could do his PARE (the rcmp physical exam). He did great. 3:42! The cut-off time was over a minute more than that. I'm proud of him... but honestly... the closer his actually being a cop comes, the stranger I feel. *shrug*

Next weekend we're in Port Alberni for a cousin's wedding, and his Grandpa's 80th birthday. His family events make me feel uncomfortable. All I want to do is hide. But we'll have the wedding to talk about, I guess. Haha, except that we're not inviting everyone :s

Wedding news: I bought my veil... 130$ later and I won a gift certificate for the Bride's Closet. Nice. I also found out 2 other people are using my venue. But after me, so it's okay.

I miss Tim. He works late tonight and I need cuddles :(

Ah, to have wisdom

Wisdom. Overrated? In the case of teeth I'd have to say yes! On thursday I have to go and have one of my wisdom teeth removed. I am not thrilled. Especially since my boss has me working the day afterwards. I would prefer to have that day off :(

In other news... back in July, maybe, I "called" Thanksgiving. Which baisically meant that I wanted to have it at my house. I wanted to cook the turkey, be in charge and host the event. I called it so long ago because I missed out on Christmas at my house last year. And because thanksgiving last year sucked. The turkey was raw. Ew.

Last night at Tim's parents house we're visiting with them and his brother, sister in law and nephew and all of a sudden Tracy says, "Oh, we're having Thanksgiving at our house this year."

Great. So everyone forgot that I called it. And I can't do Christmas because the other stupid sister in law will have her stupid baby by then and want to have his first Christmas at home. Which I understand. I do.

But where does this leave me? Thanksgiving 2009 - Taken
Christmas 2009 - Taken
Easter 2010 - Busy with wedding stuff

and by the tim Thanksgiving and Christmas role around NEXT year, I'll be off my medications and probably unable to walk let alone prepare and host a large family dinner.

Most of the time I love (most) of my in-laws. At times like this I feel absolutely rejected and unimportant. I don't know how many times I have felt like just giving up on trying to be a part of it.

I feel like telling everyone to fuck off and going and having Thanksgiving anyways at my house for MY family. Except that would upset Tim... and I don't want him upset.